Better

Mr China feels better. He knows that drive is very important, it is a driving force to get things done which is the difference of one another. Belief and Dedication is something that would come along with Drive. At a start, Mr China wakes up every morning blurred and totally reluctant to go to work. The moment he enjoys most is the moment he wakes up, the few seconds of peace that is experienced; prior to memories being loaded in, to remind him of the shit that he is in.

It was at a health examination that he finally have some moments of his own to reflect. He touched down on monday, tue n wed to finalize Exhibition details and off he zoom to Shang Hai on thurs morning and finally back again midnight on monday.

There he realise some way to find back the drive. It is through anger. Anger itself on the purest form is not good. However, controlled anger, an internal furnace maybe good to drive a person and things forward. What he realised that his flame had died in the early period, he had just allow things to run the way it had been, anywhere with walls , he stalled, where in the past, he would have scream and kick even the wall will not move. Now he needs to find back that anger and it is burning again. That clenched fist and teeth, that chair throw and door kicking Mr China is back. He needs to have anger to drive himself forward. Of course , it is not personnel targeted anger, that would be hatred. It is just a drive motivator.

Yesterday after around round of unreasonable discussion , he felt the urge to vent his frustrations, luckily he didnt do it in front of those china balls. But he felt that anger, he screamed and threw a chair across when he got back his office. That is good, he needs that.

he will fight on.

lost-ed

What a time it had been for Mr China. It had been such a long while since he found time to update his source of mental release for himself.

Let him recount his events:
Dec: back to sg at the end of the month, met with unfortunate incident where his jv partner conveniently "borrow" a few million for their own usage out of the JV acct. They returned.

Jan: back to rush all the machine installations. Had mad fun rushing from station to station and have pple from france, hk, indo, korea to entertain him for 2 whole weeks.

Feb: back for CNY, now back in China.

Mr China hadnt been himself, for the 1st time, he just could not wish more to be back home. To be with things that are familiar, to be with things that matter. An urge to about-turn at the gates. A feeling of despair when waking up alone in China. He sits at his bed and stared in front. Not knowing what lies ahead, nor what does he want. He felt "pain", cant describe it. He could not trace the source of it

Mr China used to be very independent and garang , dare to chiong and not afraid, full of drive. Now he is just a shadow, losing focus and observation skills, losing confidence and pride. What is he to all? This is dangerous. Should he just come back? Would he be branded a failure if he did?

He needs to wake up , fast. This is no good.